Never lose that sense of wonder...

Has it really been nearly 2.5 months since I last posted? I am so sorry for the lapse but I have been super busy - self-published my second book of poetry on June 7, 2009 (a little over a year after the first one debuted), called "Where I Found Myself"! It is the story of love and family and finding myself on the edge of despair only to find what I have always been searching for: Peace.

I have also been working and enjoying my life and love. I don't normally go all into my love life but I must say here, now, that I am amazed and so humbled to have found this beautiful love I have. Not only the love of my BF, Joshua, but also (finally) the love of myself.

I have finally accepted that I am who I am and that I can not change anything about the past or what came before me. I have made peace with all the despair that plagued me for so many years (28.5 to be exact) and I am now able to look forward with a positive outlook and trust in my heart that everything is going to turn out as it is supposed to....

There is no other way for it to turn out.

“What Took You So Long?”

Beauty is a sigh of contentment
At just the mention of your name
Or the thought
Resounds from somewhere deep
That you never knew existed
Impossible to resist it
The air releasing
Takes my sadness
My pain with it
Leaving pure joy in the void
Once was my heart
Alone and so lost
Drifting
You found it
What took you so long?

“This Bond Will Be Tested”

Complete sense of joy
As I look into your face
You’re as tiny as a toy
A baby doll I must’ve once had
Except you’re real
Sometimes you’ll cry
Others you’ll laugh
Days blend together
As I try to live two lives
That are separate but intertwined
Want to protect you
Show you all you need to know
But I know that I must let you
Must give you space to grow
Occasionally I’ll want to be selfish
Do something for me
But my heart will still bring me back to you
This bond will be tested
Maybe even strained
But never broken
This love nothing can change
There will be times you’ll think me odd
Maybe my music, clothes or food are strange
Or you’ll think me mean
Wish me dead
I thought the same things
But remember that I said
That my heart will always bring me back to you
There will be good times and bad ones
Ups and some downs
In this crazy life of ours
As a baby you’re perfect
As a mother I’m not
Welcome to the world
I know you’ll teach me a lot

“His Caress I’ve Dreamt of All My Life”

So many times before
I thought I’d found him
But watching him sleep
I know that this is finally it
Searched and prayed
Gave so much of me
Way too quickly
Finally stopped and in he walked
Not what I had pictured
Better
Holds me, touches me
Asks nothing of me
(well, the occasional poem)
Lost in the way his lips taste
Fingers feel
Over and over he shows me all the ways
This is real
Almost gave up the search
Too many times love had hurt
Pushed him away
But through it all he managed to stay
Showed a sweetness
That is hard to find
Possess qualities
That compliment mine
Trusting to my doubt
Laughter to my tears
Took the chance
When no one else would
The just wanted to use me
He prefers to treat me good
Looking in all the wrong places
(and some right ones too)
Really, seriously doubted
That I could find you
Scared when I did
I won’t even lie
Sometimes I wonder
If God knows that you fell
Out of the sky
A simple caress
Turned to this puzzle
We are creating together
One minute at a time
Now I know before you
Was just a waste of time

“But That Was The Last Time”

The last time you were here
I believed everything you said
Trusted everything you did
The last time you were here
You had on a blue shirt
I remember your hands on me
The last time you were here
I sensed the urgency in your kiss
The passion in all of this
The last time you were here
Your smile lit up my heart
You captivated my mind
The last time you were here
Is frozen in my mind
Infinite possibilities
The last time you were here
I would like to rewind
Re-live and reinvent
The last time you were here
Because you aren’t him
I don’t know those eyes
The last time you were here
You caught me by surprise
And all that we said
The last time you were here
Those promises have died.

BEYONCE

Using only song titles from one artist, and answer these questions:

Pick a band/artist: Beyonce

1. Are you a male or female: Naughty Girl

2. Describe yourself: Diva

3. How do you feel about yourself: At Last

4. Describe your ex: Single Ladies, Ring the Alarm

5. Describe your current relationship situation: Ave Maria, Halo, Hello, Smash Into You

6. Describe your current location: Scared of Lonely

7. Describe where you want to be: In the club (remix)

8. Your best friend is: Dangerously In Love

9. Your favorite color is: Green Light

10. You know that: Deja Vu

11. What’s the weather like: Satellites

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called? Flaws and All

13. What is life to you: Irreplaceable

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Listen

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Suga Mama

Six-Word Memior week

So, I just did a week of "six-word memior's".
Hope you enjoyed them.
Don't forget to check out: http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/

I think too often we get wrapped up in the tiny details and forget the bigger picture.
I mean, if it ended right now, how would you be remembered?
I'm not trying to be all morbid or depressing but I'm just saying that we should live our lives the way we want to be remembered.
I sure don't want anyone saying " she shoulda, coulda, woulda" about me.
Do you?

Much love!